Nature's Way

A strange thing happened after the miscarriage, I suddenly went off the idea of having a baby. It wasn't that I didn't want a baby anymore, it was just that I wanted a break from everything. When I went out I didn't feel 'drawn' to peeking into pushchairs to see how cute the baby was, or even looking at pushchairs full stop, I just wasn't interested at all - which was really quite a strange feeling. I put it down to the fact that maybe I was still grieving, or that I had let go far more than I thought was possible. It only lasted for about six weeks - and looking back I realise that it was just one of those things that happen in life. I was feeling a bit messed up personally - didn't know what I wanted to do in my life or where I wanted to be, and I realised that this was nature's way of giving me a break until I sorted myself out. It worked, I managed to sort things out mentally and just step back from work and really look at what I wanted to achieve in this life, and what steps to take first.

One thing that really helped was that my husband never gave up on me. He was there behind the scenes confident that I would 'snap out of it', which I did of course - wouldn't be sitting here now if I hadn't. I realised how much I really love my husband and why we got married in the first place and that most of all - the really important thing in my life was that we shared how we felt and talked more. It's one of those age old solutions isn't it? But how many of us really listen to the advice and act upon it? Luckily I did, and our relationship has been the strongest it has ever been so far in our relationship, and I will be eternally grateful that he didn't give up on me during that time.

It wasn't long after that, that I became 'baby mad' again :o) Not in a really mad way this time though, but just being more spontaneous about it. Hubby and I went away for more weekends camping in the summer, met up with old friends and family - did mad things on the beach: our favourite pastime whilst on holiday is to build a HUGE sandcastle with a moat or two around it and then wait for the tide to come in and wash us off :D It is great fun, and you get to act like a kid again which is never a bad thing which brings me to my next blog post ....