Two week wait

This has to be the worst time of the month (except menstruation of course) when you're trying to conceive. The longest two weeks of your life. You try so hard to 'chill out' or 'just relax' about getting pregnant - as your friends who have no intention of having children themselves will point out to you again and again. How can they possibly understand what these two weeks feel like? I know that all I can do in this time is to relax, I know that the result is completely out of my hands at this point in time, but people who keep telling me to relax is NOT HELPING!

I know that they mean well, I know that they care that you are getting stressed out each month, or depressed because yet again your period has started. I just wish that they would at least try to understand what it feels like to be going through this. I am a fairly chilled out person, my whole motto in life is 'don't worry about it until you have to', which has served me well for most of my adult life. By worrying about it I am basically saying to the universe - I don't have this in my life - therefore the universe responds by saying 'you don't have this in your life'. But when you are like me and you see the bigger picture in regards to getting pregnant, all the wellwished comments do nothing but dent your confidence even further.

Not being judgemental here but, if you never want to have children, how can you possibly say that 'if you relax it will happen'? how do you know? You spend more time stressing about getting pregnant, and as Murphy's Law goes, you'd probably be the first one to get pregnant, because that's the last thing you wanted.

So instead of trying to give out (un)helpful advice about relaxing, 'it will happen when it's meant to', 'don't get yourself stressed out over it' - try thinking about it from your friends point of view; she's desperate to become a mother - yes that's right, desperate. That doesn't mean that she's lost her mind and will do something manic, it means that the only thing she wants to be right now is a Mother. There's nothing wrong in that, surely? I mean if women decided that they didn't want that anymore, then the future of this world would come to a screeching halt wouldn't it? Yes, it is natural when you have been trying for more than six months to get more anxious as each month passes with yet another negative test. Yes it is good that I can get pregnant by the fact that I managed it before, even if it did end in miscarriage. Yes I know that I am without a doubt boring you senseless by talking about babies and what new discovery I may have found that will help me conceive, and yes, I already think of myself as a mother - I just need that little stick to give me the proof. So during these two weeks, why not show your support for a change? Why not get excited by the prospect that your friend will hopefully get her wish to be a mother? Let her talk about tiny baby clothes and baby names. Let her work out when the proposed due date will be, and how different types of exercise may actually help her to have a healthier pregnancy and more contented baby. Just let her talk as much and as often as she wants to - show her that you CARE. You know the saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all.' ever so true at this stage of a woman's life, if you can't be supportive and at least try and understand how she feels, then don't even bother. Bite your lip, and think of something original to say instead.

Remember what it was like when there was something you really wanted - so much that it was all you could think about? Now multiply that by about ten and you will understand how I feel right now. It is COMPLETELY NATURAL to be like this. My body tells me far more about whether I am ready to conceive or not than any Doctor or friend could. Yes, I may get concerned when I feel a strange twinge; is that ov pain or IBS? Or, when exactly did I ov? Will I get the implantation spotting or is that my period starting? These things are real to me right now, this is the first hurdle I have to get over - the getting pregnant hurdle. Being told that 'your flat is really too small to have a baby in' or 'wouldn't it be better to wait until you can afford it' are really not helpful comments to make. I know that when I get pregnant, then everything else will work out to help us. I know that we will be able to get a bigger place at some point - and if that means that the baby will be in this flat with us for a few months before we can move, then so be it - babies have survived in far smaller dwellings. As for being able to afford it - the great thing about being pregnant for nine months is that you can split the payments, you can save a bit each month for the essentials - you don't have to go and buy the whole lot in one go. What I hate is the fact that everyone is so concerned with how are we going to manage this? Or, why don't they just chill out over it? WHY won't you just be happy that we have decided that we want to become parents? Is that really so difficult for you? Why not focus on the fact that we will be having a beautiful baby, something that is so unique and individual that will only have our DNA and our characteristics - that nature is so amazing to create this for us? Focus on the positive not the negative, and try really hard to be as excited as we are about the prospect.

So for the next two weeks, just be patient with me, and think before you speak.

If you have read anything in this blog that you find offensive, my hormones are to blame - not me.