And the first symptom is ... (week four)

I had made a little card for my mum to give her on my birthday to let her know about the baby - as 32 years ago that day she became a Mother for the first time, and here I was making her a Grandmother for the first time on that very day :o) She was stunned and didn't quite believe it, then started crying (in the middle of a busy train!) but they were happy tears and also tears of worry, as every mother will know what their daughter is about to go through in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, and she was concerned that history may repeat itself again and so didn't want me to get my hopes up. Although from that first moment that I realised I am having a baby - I knew that this time was different and the baby was going to stay this time.

On the way to meeting my mum on the train (she was getting on a few stops further down the line) I was watching the fields as we sped past and it felt like I was seeing everything for the first time, then I realised that I was - my child was seeing everything through my eyes :o) Everything looked so beautiful, and as I watched the views I suddenly felt this amazing feeling of love sweep through my abdomen and up to my heart - like a pink blanket of love and joy, and I realised that my baby was sending me love to let me know that she was definately here to stay this time. That was my first connection to her since I had taken the test, and I felt very honoured that she has chosen me to be her mother.

I had been suffering from extra tiredness since the moment I conceived, I thought that the M.E. had got worse, then realising I was pregnant was great as I knew what was causing the tiredness finally. The first symptom I got apart from the tiredness was terrible breast pain, especially when I was cold. It seemed to start at around 5-6am in the morning and lasted for about 30 mins, it was pure agony, like someone had clamped my breasts in a vice of ice!! Then it happened again at about 5-6pm in the afternoon, I tried keeping warm, using heated pads, rubbing them to get the circulation going (not easy to do in public!!!) before I realised that despite the pain I just had to try and ignore it and it would eventually ease. I remember ringing my mum one evening feeling I couldn't cope with this anymore - and she laughed at me! 'That's just your hormones dear and it's a good sign, happens to everyone!' Until she realised that I was not finding this funny in the slightest and then tried to reassure me by offering advice on how to cope with it. Thankfully that only lasted for about a week, but things were to get worse before getting better...